The main thing is…
“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
- Stephen Covey
You may know one of those people who have forged something from nothing, or you may be one of these people. Seeking their goals with a determination which is quite amazing. This could be someone in business, in sport or in any other sort of pursuit. The point is that these people seem quite amazing at first glance and our first reaction can be admiration or envy.
Let’s take a second glance. Often these people are amazing at single-mindedly pursuing one goal. This could be profit in the case of a businessperson, sometimes started because of childhood experiences or a desire to change things for their family. This could be awards, recognition, fame or other such things for a musician or an actor. It could be the next record for an athlete. The challenge with this is not the pursuit of these things. It is the imbalance the pursuit often causes.
Sometimes people often lose sight of the importance of other aspects in their lives and become so consumed with their end goal that they often damage or lose the reasons they had for starting in the first place. Forsaking family, friends, relationships. When it is all said and done, what is left when they’ve attained their goals?
The important thing is to know where your heart is, and pursue that goal in a way that is aligned with who you are and what is important to you. Never lose sight of your true reasons and don’t sell your soul regardless of the glittering prizes you may see in the distance. Your future isn’t all about wealth or fame.
It is about the sense of fulfilment you get when you practice your craft or when you’ve provided a suitable environment for your family.
It is about enjoying each moment instead of obsessing over what more you could gain.
It is about knowing when to pause and enjoy your “rich moments” rather than pursuing some future bliss, which may never come.
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
Being Grateful and Present
Two men look out between the same bars: one sees mud, one sees stars.
-Frederick Langbridge
We’ve all heard the popular words of Robert Eliot – “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” It would be silly to argue these words, as they ring true to most ears. Worrying about the small things will usually get you nowhere, but what about appreciating the small things?
What are some things we take for granted everyday which could benefit our lives a little more if we appreciated them more?
The key to appreciating these moments is to concentrate on them, rather than letting your mind wander onto other matters. When eating a good meal, truly savour the tastes and the company instead of worrying about the dishes to wash up after you’re done. When phoned by a friend, wonder at the conversation and the marvels which allow you to connect with that friend from a distance, instead of worrying about which bills you haven’t yet paid or how many free minutes you’ve got left on your mobile contract. If you have to walk somewhere, enjoy the colour of the sky, the song of the birds – all of the sights and sounds of the natural world or even those native to a city.
Even seemingly menial tasks can be enjoyed in this way. When washing up after a meal, enjoy the work itself. Concentrate on getting each dish sparklingly clean and on the warm soapy water instead of thinking ahead to what you’d rather be doing. You’ll probably find the whole experience much more enjoyable this way.
The key is to concentrate on the here and now and enjoy this moment, rather than focusing on what has been or what is to come. Each of these small things joins together in the chain which becomes your life, so don’t sweat the negative ones and focus on the positive ones.
Step Up or Worn Down?
It is easy to succumb to stress in today’s economic climate.
Downturns can be a trying time, but the emotional tax is often not necessary. The problem with worry is that it accomplishes nothing. The key to tackling your worries is to look at the situation objectively and calmly.
Ask yourself some serious questions:
1. What am I accomplishing by worrying?
2. Can I change anything about this situation?
If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll often surprise yourself. For question 1, the answer will usually be “Nothing.” For question 2, you’ll either come up with a yes or a no. If your answer is yes and you can change your situation, then why are you worrying about it? Shouldn’t you be out there doing something rather than fretting about it? Wouldn’t affecting positive change in your life do more for you than sitting around? If your answer is no, then why worry? You can’t accomplish anything by worrying about that which you cannot influence.
History teaches us that success during recession is not impossible. The saying goes “fortune favours the bold”, and in the case of economic recession, this is especially true.
The individuals and companies who took advantage of the Great Depression did so by making bold decisions, by diversifying their interests and by being creative. They didn’t accomplish these things by worrying.
Will you Step up?
We Create Our Own Luck!
Ever meet people who say that success has everything to do with random luck and not much more?
I know I’ve come across lots of people who believe that luck is the essential ingredient to success, but the truth of the matter is, it’s not!
People who say success boils down to luck typically are people who are jealous of those who achieve success. They have this idea that luck randomly occurs willy nilly! But that’s not the case at all!
You see, luck is far from a random thing! We create it ourselves when we make the choice to choose success! Remember my interview with my friend Lorne Cousin and Madonna
Success is a choice!
Successful people are successful because they choose success!
They choose to be successful.
They outwardly reject anything that isn’t success, and don’t rest until success is firmly within their grasp.
When people make a choice to pursue success and persist until it is theirs, they attract into their lives situations and circumstances that will help them make that success happen.
And yes, some may call that luck.
But at the end of the day, it’s simply what happens when you decide to choose success for yourself.
The ‘luck’ doesn’t come automatically.
It comes when one consciously chooses to focus on success!
Success truly is a state of mind. Many successful people will tell you that their journey to success began when they formulated a vision and a goal in their mind.
Initially they have the idea of what they want, and then they really begin to visualize what it would be like for that idea to become a reality.
They create in their minds pictures of that success happening in their lives, and they get excited about it!
They take the time each day to think of the attainment of that goal…and they feel good about it!
This keeps them passionate about the attainment of that goal!
And in entertaining these thoughts of success attainment, those favourable scenarios, opportunities, etc, come about.
It’s when luck or magic happens!
But as you can see, it doesn’t happen randomly! The ‘luck’ happens when we choose success.
Put it to the test for yourself today!
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting spring 2010 more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
Take 100% Responsibility 100% of the Time!
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Ever come across people in your life who just whine and complain all the time? Now I’m sure you have. In fact, I’m sure we can think of at least five people we have come across in our lives who are notorious for the complain game.
These people complain about their health, their relationships, their lack of money, their jobs…virtually everything!
And it is often these people who aren’t living lives of success. These people typically look at successful people and just think they’re successful because they’ve used somebody or done the dirty to get there!
The bottom line is…
…the complainers don’t take full 100% responsibility for their lives!
They look at disappointments and blame other people and situations!
They look at failures and put the blame on everything else but themselves!
These people are masters of the ‘cop out’! They without fail, fail to take full and 100% responsibility for their lives.
They don’t achieve success, because they’re too busy being victims!
Now, sometimes in life we really can be victims!
We can come on hard times. We may have had abusive parents, or perhaps we had an illness that nearly claimed our lives. Hardships come to us quite often in life.
But we choose to respond to those hardships. We can choose to see the gift in a hardship and take advantage or we can choose to be a victim.
If we were a victim to somebody who wronged us in the past for instance, we can take responsibility NOW and decide, “Yes! I know what happened to me in the past was wrong, but I’m going to take responsibility right now to create for myself the life I want and deserve.”
You can make the decision to take full and 100% responsibility of your life right now!
Instead of inaction, do something! Instead of complaining, take action!
Whatever you do, don’t just sit there and pass the buck! Don’t just sit there and complain until the cows come home about a situation you don’t like!
Address the problem head on. Solve the problem. And take responsibility for your life today!
You know what you want out of life. You know what you want to be happy.
So take responsibility today to make that life happen!
Stop complaining! Stop passing blame! Start taking action to make it happen by being 100% responsible for your life 100% of the time!
Because your life is in your hands, only you can make the changes in your life that will bring about the life you want.
I challenge you today to start living your life and taking full and 100% responsibility for yourself and your outcomes. I guarantee you will start seeing positive results in next to no time!
Spiral of Success programs and coaching coming soon! Click here!
Wide Awake
“The truth will set you free but first it will P*** you off” – Werner Erhard
We do many things to keep ourselves asleep and on auto-pilot in this world , see if you recognize any? Drink, food, buying things, t.v. worrying, sex, work.
All these activities (and I have to admit there is some cool stuff in there to enjoy, bar the worrying,) in extreme keep us separate from that “wide awake” state that is “reality”. And, occasionally we wake up to ourselves, to others, to the beauty of the world and to what is “real”.
For many of us this “wake up call” comes late but maybe not too late… To Shine, as we are meant to shine, live as we are built to live and love as we are built to love….
Coaching Points
What do you do to keep your self asleep?
When do you feel wide awake to life?
Switch off the auto-pilot and notice yourself today, take a moment to actually be aware of what you are doing and start creating the life you want NOW!
Spiral of Success programs and coaching coming soon! Click here!
Using NLP Coaching to Achieve the Outcomes You Want in 2010
“I’m tired of dreaming. I’m into doing at the moment. It’s like, let’s only have goals that we can go after “- Bono
All throughout my blog I 
have been talking with you about ways you can live the life you have always dreamed of living.
We’ve talked about setting goals and going after them, and taking full responsibility for our life and our outcomes.
In the next series of articles I’m going to talk to you about neuro linguistic programming – also known as NLP for short – and how you can apply simple NLP techniques to help you achieve the outcomes you want to achieve.
For some of you, the concept of NLP may be a familiar one, but for others, it may be brand new. In simple words, NLP refers to the way people use their thinking, feeling, language and behaviour to achieve the results they achieve. It looks at the way all of these factors interact with one another, to produce certain results.
Today NLP is used by many personal development people – people like Jack Canfield and Anthony Robbins – to help inspire and motivate others to greatness.
It was developed in the 1970’s as a behavioural science, by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and can easily be described as a methodology for modelling human behaviour. In the personal development world, NLP processes are used to model human excellence in all areas – so that anybody can apply the same behaviours of successful people, in order to become successful themselves.
Over the next few blog articles, we’ll explore NLP and discover ways you can use it in everyday life to achieve the outcomes you want.
P.S. My next Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Foundation Diploma starts March 1 – This four day programme presented over one month introduces the key principles and ideas that support NLP and will equip you with numerous coaching techniques that you will be able to use straight away in your coaching practice and with colleagues at the office. For more information, click here
Christmas Time Again!
It’s hard to believe that Christmas day is just 3 days away! Like the majority of people, you’re probably really looking forward to spending time with friends and family and just kicking back and taking a break. I am looking forward to chilling out on xmas day then onto the football on Boxing Day.
But for others, Christmas and the entire festive season can be a really stressful or sad time.
And it’s for a whole variety of reasons. Here’s just a few:
- A feeling of dread at the thought of seeing family members they don’t have a good history with
- Feelings of inadequacy, linked to people they are seeing over the holiday break
- Feelings of loneliness due to lost friendships
- Anxiety over ‘keeping up appearances’
- Worry over finances and keeping everybody happy in the gift-giving department
- Sadness over recent – or not-so recent loss – e.g. death of a loved one
- Feelings of non-achievement over goals set last Christmas that have not been achieved
Experiencing all or any of the above can really create a negative festive season!
But the reality is you can CHANGE this!
You CREATE your own experience!
And you do it with your thinking.
As individuals, we have so much power because we have our minds and we have the ability to consciously think. The way we think shapes our life experience.
If we wake up for instance, feeling really edgy, irritable and grumpy, it really sets the tone for the day. Haven’t you experienced that for yourself?
Your day just tends to spiral out of control – almost like a domino effect. And you seem to attract negativity into your day, the more you hold onto those negative thoughts and feelings.
If you change your thought patterns and start thinking happy and optimistic thoughts, then your whole experience of that day changes.
And you can do the same for Christmas too.
If you are facing any of those stresses listed in the above, turn that thought into a positive one. If you have thoughts of not having enough money, start to think of abundance. Start thinking of having enough money and enjoy the feeling that comes with that thought.
I guarantee you’ll feel a lot better and the experience – an experience you may have been dreading – will be made so much more enjoyable.
We create our own experiences through our thoughts.
In the film, “The Secret” one of the teachers by the name of Marci Shimoff said, “Once you begin to understand your thoughts and feelings, that’s when you see how you create your own reality. That’s where your freedom is, that’s where all your power is.”
Put positive thinking to the test for yourself today, and get ready for what will be a lovely Christmas Day – if you WANT it and THINK it!
P.S. I will be taking 2 new coaching clients early in 2010 for an intensive 1 year coaching programme. Contact me directly at Donald@zonedinperformance.com if you are interested. A place on the programme is not guaranteed and I will be working with people totally committed to creating the “WOW LIFE” they desire and acting fearlessly to make their vision a reality.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes!
If you think you can get through life without taking risks and making mistakes, think again!
Life is full of risks and it’s only when we no longer have a pulse that we avoid risk altogether. Risk is an inevitable part of life, so we simply have to accept the existence of risk.
Even so, there are people who go out of their way to avoid all risk and frankly, they are doing far more damage than good. Risk adverse people often turn down great opportunities for fear of making a mistake and bringing about some sort of stress on themselves.
Too many people for instance, will opt to stay in their comfort zone and complain about a lack of friends, a lack of money, a lack of opportunity – or whatever it might be – rather than go out there and DO the stuff necessary to change their situation for the better.
They don’t want to make a mistake!
They don’t want to ‘fail’!
Talk to any successful person about this approach to life and they will tell you straight out that if it wasn’t for their willingness to go out there and have a go – and make the necessary mistakes and take the necessary risks – they would NOT be successful. They would NOT be where they are now.
Mistakes play a key role in this self-discovery thing. We have to make mistakes when we DO the stuff that helps us become the person we want to be. We have to be willing to make mistakes, in order to create the life we want. Because it won’t just fall into our laps. We do have to get out of our comfort zones every once in a while and make things happen.
Sophia Loren, the Italian actress made a brilliant statement once that illustrated this point beautifully. She said, “After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.”
So don’t be afraid to take risks! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! It’s what you simply must be prepared to do, if you really want to have a full life!
P.S. I will be taking 2 new coaching clients early in 2010 for an intensive 1 year coaching programme. Contact me directly at Donald@zonedinperformance.com if you are interested. A place on the programme is not guaranteed and I will be working with people totally committed to creating the “WOW LIFE” they desire and acting fearlessly to make their vision a reality.
Peace and quiet takes on a new and more meaningful meaning
We definitely live in the information age, where at our fingertips pretty much 24/7, we have information. No matter where we are in the world, provided we have access to the internet, we have access to a gazillion libraries of information – and it’s all available to us, free of charge, anytime we want.
No wonder so many of us feel like we’ve overloaded ourselves and overdosed on information.
And combine this with the fact that the world in general is a whole lot faster moving than it used to be, any wonder life can be stressful and noisy most of the time.
If we don’t keep our heads above water in this ever-increasingly busy, information loaded society, we’re going to lose touch with who we really are. We’re going to be too distracted by all the noise!
And that’s why it’s important to always make time for yourself – preferably, quiet time. Time where you can simply sit and be you. Time where you can just relax and tap into who you are, what you want and where you want to be.
Time to tap into how you feel at that very moment.
Intuition is our inner guidance system, and it’s geared to direct us to where we want to go in life. It’s our GPS!
So I always encourage my clients to take the time to meditate…and if they can’t meditate, just have a time where they can sit, relax and think about who they are, what they want and where they want to be – without noise and distraction. And then the ideas will flow. The ideas as to what they can do to make it happen.
Peace and quiet provides us with this opportunity – so make time for it every day!
K.T. Jong summed it up so beautifully with a quote that said, “It is only when we silent the blaring sound of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.”
So make time for peace and quiet today – and every day!
P.S. I will be taking on 2 new coaching clients early in 2010 for an intensive 1 year coaching programme. Contact me directly at Donald@zonedinperformance.com if you are interested. A place on the programme is not guaranteed and I will be working with people totally committed to creating the “WOW LIFE” they desire and acting fearlessly to make their vision a reality.
