Using NLP to be focus on what’s important and stay in the Driving Seat
Have you ever made a bad decision when you felt under pressure to make a decision quickly? Or have you ever found that you simply can’t make ‘instant’ decisions because you “need time to think”? Perhaps it’s not time you need but space. Ever longed for a bit of breathing space, or a moment of peace and quiet, to be able to think? Imagine then, being a racing driver. In the world of Formula One racing, your ‘quick’ decisions suddenly become quite leisurely by comparison. The good news is, you don’t have to become a racing car driver to learn how to really think quickly, it is in fact a NLP mental skill that anyone can learn.
So what are the benefits of being able to think quickly? Well, if you’re a Formula One driver, the main benefit is staying alive! However, for the rest of us, the main benefit of learning how to think quickly is really learning how to think clearly when the pressure is on. In sport, clear thinking is focused thinking. Learning how to focus is essentially learning how to concentrate but crucially, focus equates to learning how to concentrate only on what matters.
Action v Distraction
Only a few years ago, reigning world champion Jenson Button was as famous for his playboy lifestyle as he was for his Formula One success. Things have now changed. In a recent interview he said, “I thought that driving skill would be enough in Formula One, but it wasn’t…I realised that skill was not enough because everyone in Formula One is skilled – that’s why they’re here…I realised that everything else had to be on hold for as long as I was in F1.” Jenson Button has learned that physical skill alone is not enough. Staying at the top of your game takes mental skill. It takes focus: and Button’s focus is now only on winning, although he admits to not being a “saint.”
“Your mind management has to be spot on and you must always have maximum concentration to maintain complete consistency” - Chris Buncombe
When Lewis Hamilton was only nine-years old, he boldly introduced himself to Ron Dennis, McLaren team boss at the time, by saying, “Hi, I’m Lewis Hamilton. I won the British Championships and one day I want to be racing your cars.” The rest, as they say, is history! Unlike Button, Hamilton has not come to “realise” that success in motor racing requires focus, his focus has always been on Formula One success.
“Lewis is exceptional. He has the mind for it, the attitude, the God-given skill, but he is already recognising that he needs something else. And he is doing it with humility and style” – Jackie Stewart
Clear the Clutter
Racing drivers have only nano seconds in which to make decisions. They are under extreme physical and mental pressure when racing and the difference between a podium finish and an ‘also ran’ finish is often only the tiniest fraction of a second. There is absolutely no downtime in the cockpit of a racing car, total concentration is needed at all times. With focus and with clear thinking, decisions can be made at lightening speed. Doubts or negative thoughts of any kind are clutter, and clutter can’t be allowed to enter a racing driver’s mind. Hamilton is described as having, “an acute tactical mind, strong race-craft, and brilliant opportunism.” Button, on the other hand, is described as, “laidback but seriously competitive.” Both drivers have mental skill. Both have the ability to “see” what they have to do, and both know that their focus must always remain on what can be achieved and what can be controlled or influenced by their thoughts and actions at any given moment of time. They have no room in their mind for negative thoughts.
Sir Stirling Moss once said of Lewis Hamilton, “It isn’t just that he is a driver, he obviously can drive – he is a racer, he can see a gap and he’s in it.” That’s NLP mental skill; that’s real quick thinking in high-speed action. Jenson Button has also demonstrated his ability to remain focused only on the elements of the race within his control by saying of less than favourable weather conditions before a race, “It’s disappointing, but we can’t stop it raining here.” So, next time you feel under pressure to make a “quick” decision, clear your mind of unnecessary clutter, learn to focus only on what matters, think like a racing driver.
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The Leader as a Servant
“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” – Max Depree
I’d like to talk about leadership in a way we perhaps don’t always think of it. In order to lead, we must know how to follow.
Those born for a leadership role do not just seize the reigns of power and gallop on without an understanding of those they are leading. It doesn’t really work well that way.
As is said in the Tao Te Ching, “The river carves out the valley by flowing beneath it. Thereby the river is the master of the valley.”
This and many other examples are used in Taoist philosophy to demonstrate the power of the low. This power is the power of the servant of the people, the person who follows in order to lead. This is a powerful notion, and has real world application.
How can we lead people without being their servant? Is that not what a leader is? A facilitator, a communicator, a voice for a group of people – these are examples of services we provide for our team when we lead them. We act as the focal point for problems and we serve as enablers for our team members. We move obstacles so that they may do their work and shine for the entire group.
If we recognise our roles as a servants and followers of our teams and strive to make it clear to them that we exist in a leadership capacity only to make things easier for them, chances are that they will never feel threatened by that leadership. There will be no sense of competition or oppression.
In this style of leadership you may not come to the finish line in front, gleaming with pride to take all of the glory, but your team will definitely make it there together and you’ll have more respect than if you had seized the reigns.
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
Being Grateful and Present
Two men look out between the same bars: one sees mud, one sees stars.
-Frederick Langbridge
We’ve all heard the popular words of Robert Eliot – “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” It would be silly to argue these words, as they ring true to most ears. Worrying about the small things will usually get you nowhere, but what about appreciating the small things?
What are some things we take for granted everyday which could benefit our lives a little more if we appreciated them more?
The key to appreciating these moments is to concentrate on them, rather than letting your mind wander onto other matters. When eating a good meal, truly savour the tastes and the company instead of worrying about the dishes to wash up after you’re done. When phoned by a friend, wonder at the conversation and the marvels which allow you to connect with that friend from a distance, instead of worrying about which bills you haven’t yet paid or how many free minutes you’ve got left on your mobile contract. If you have to walk somewhere, enjoy the colour of the sky, the song of the birds – all of the sights and sounds of the natural world or even those native to a city.
Even seemingly menial tasks can be enjoyed in this way. When washing up after a meal, enjoy the work itself. Concentrate on getting each dish sparklingly clean and on the warm soapy water instead of thinking ahead to what you’d rather be doing. You’ll probably find the whole experience much more enjoyable this way.
The key is to concentrate on the here and now and enjoy this moment, rather than focusing on what has been or what is to come. Each of these small things joins together in the chain which becomes your life, so don’t sweat the negative ones and focus on the positive ones.
Fearless !
‘Somebody should tell us …right at the start of our lives…that we are dying.Then we might live to the limit,every minute of every day.Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows” Michael Landon
Be fearless …What will you do today ?
Be Brave
Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it. People come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just. By doing self controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled, and by doing brave acts we become brave.” Aristotle
How can you be brave today ?
Life is Now
“It does no good to search frantically for peace, to seek anxiously after love,joy or freedom. If you want joy, be joyful. If you want peace, be peaceful” Cheri Huber
Sometimes modern life with its pace, demands and the expectations we place on ourselves can lead you to seek in the future something that is available in the present. And I dont know which “state” you would like more of now, love, happiness, freedom but what I do know is that they are all there within you as you read this blog.
Coaching question: What do I love to do that brings me alive ?
Further Reading: “Suffering is Optional” Cheri Huber
Living your Passion
This is one of the best talks I have ever heard. Passion, humour and intelligence. It made me think about a lot of things,in particular what I have given up on in my life when success may have been around the corner . What can you learn in the future that you may have not even considered in the past.
And how you can live with passion everyday…!
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Leadership principles to apply for everybody!
You know, often when I’m talking to people about leadership issues, many will write the topic off because they just don’t believe they are a leader.
There is a common misperception out there that leaders are people in well paying, executive jobs. In other words, people just think that to be a leader, you must be in a corporate career.
But the fact of the matter is that leadership is something each one of us has at some point in time.
Examples of everyday leaders
If you are in a partnership with a spouse, if you have children, if you have friends, if you have relatives…there are many non work-related situations where you need to take on those attributes of good leaders.
I have an excellent quote that I have loved for a long time that really brings the whole leadership topic down to the earth level. Here’s what it says:
“If I accept you as who you are, I will make you worse; however if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that.”
That quote came from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe – many of you may have heard of him, but for those who haven’t, he was a German natural philosopher who was also a novelist, playwright, diplomat and poet.
Read that quote again, because what it says really is amazing.
It basically says that for us to be great leaders…
…we must see the potential in other people!
Think about your really great friends. Chances are, they are people who encourage you in everything you do! They are people who are there to help you achieve those things you really want to achieve in your life.
They treat you as though you are capable of becoming – just as Goethe said!
Great friends do this, and great bosses, parents and spouses do as well.
Recognising one’s potential is the attribute of a great leader, but as you can see, it’s also a great attribute when it comes to our personal relationships as well.
It’s all about believing in other people and acting and saying things in accordance with that.
If we open our eyes to this great leadership attribute and start implementing it in all of our interpersonal relationships TODAY, it’s amazing what effect it will have both on yourself and on everybody you know.
Believing in other people is contagious as well. If you really give somebody else encouragement, it makes them feel great! And then they will do the same to somebody else, who in turn will feel great and pass it onto others.
You don’t have to be a high flying executive in a suit to start implementing great leadership qualities like this one. Try it today and put it to the test!
