Using NLP to be focus on what’s important and stay in the Driving Seat
Have you ever made a bad decision when you felt under pressure to make a decision quickly? Or have you ever found that you simply can’t make ‘instant’ decisions because you “need time to think”? Perhaps it’s not time you need but space. Ever longed for a bit of breathing space, or a moment of peace and quiet, to be able to think? Imagine then, being a racing driver. In the world of Formula One racing, your ‘quick’ decisions suddenly become quite leisurely by comparison. The good news is, you don’t have to become a racing car driver to learn how to really think quickly, it is in fact a NLP mental skill that anyone can learn.
So what are the benefits of being able to think quickly? Well, if you’re a Formula One driver, the main benefit is staying alive! However, for the rest of us, the main benefit of learning how to think quickly is really learning how to think clearly when the pressure is on. In sport, clear thinking is focused thinking. Learning how to focus is essentially learning how to concentrate but crucially, focus equates to learning how to concentrate only on what matters.
Action v Distraction
Only a few years ago, reigning world champion Jenson Button was as famous for his playboy lifestyle as he was for his Formula One success. Things have now changed. In a recent interview he said, “I thought that driving skill would be enough in Formula One, but it wasn’t…I realised that skill was not enough because everyone in Formula One is skilled – that’s why they’re here…I realised that everything else had to be on hold for as long as I was in F1.” Jenson Button has learned that physical skill alone is not enough. Staying at the top of your game takes mental skill. It takes focus: and Button’s focus is now only on winning, although he admits to not being a “saint.”
“Your mind management has to be spot on and you must always have maximum concentration to maintain complete consistency” - Chris Buncombe
When Lewis Hamilton was only nine-years old, he boldly introduced himself to Ron Dennis, McLaren team boss at the time, by saying, “Hi, I’m Lewis Hamilton. I won the British Championships and one day I want to be racing your cars.” The rest, as they say, is history! Unlike Button, Hamilton has not come to “realise” that success in motor racing requires focus, his focus has always been on Formula One success.
“Lewis is exceptional. He has the mind for it, the attitude, the God-given skill, but he is already recognising that he needs something else. And he is doing it with humility and style” – Jackie Stewart
Clear the Clutter
Racing drivers have only nano seconds in which to make decisions. They are under extreme physical and mental pressure when racing and the difference between a podium finish and an ‘also ran’ finish is often only the tiniest fraction of a second. There is absolutely no downtime in the cockpit of a racing car, total concentration is needed at all times. With focus and with clear thinking, decisions can be made at lightening speed. Doubts or negative thoughts of any kind are clutter, and clutter can’t be allowed to enter a racing driver’s mind. Hamilton is described as having, “an acute tactical mind, strong race-craft, and brilliant opportunism.” Button, on the other hand, is described as, “laidback but seriously competitive.” Both drivers have mental skill. Both have the ability to “see” what they have to do, and both know that their focus must always remain on what can be achieved and what can be controlled or influenced by their thoughts and actions at any given moment of time. They have no room in their mind for negative thoughts.
Sir Stirling Moss once said of Lewis Hamilton, “It isn’t just that he is a driver, he obviously can drive – he is a racer, he can see a gap and he’s in it.” That’s NLP mental skill; that’s real quick thinking in high-speed action. Jenson Button has also demonstrated his ability to remain focused only on the elements of the race within his control by saying of less than favourable weather conditions before a race, “It’s disappointing, but we can’t stop it raining here.” So, next time you feel under pressure to make a “quick” decision, clear your mind of unnecessary clutter, learn to focus only on what matters, think like a racing driver.
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Being flexible to achieve your goals
We’re all familiar with the concept of being hard, being steadfast and pursuing things in a straight path to our goals. What about being flexible? What does this hold for us?
“Just as a sapless tree will split and decay So an inflexible force will meet defeat” – Tao Te Ching
Flexibility can have as much power or more as sheer force of will and determination. Think of the power of water. One of the greatest athletes of all time, Bruce Lee, used the example of water in his philosophy in life. What is more flexible and soft than water? It can flow between gaps we cannot even see. It molds itself to any situation or container, yet over many years it can carve deep canyons. Though its methods are long and we may see it as a slow and weak flowing substance, can it not crash and cause devastation, or seep into cracks and then freeze, splitting things apart?
This relates to us in ways that may not be immediately clear. Just as water may be immediately diverted from its path, so may we. That does not mean that we stop. We continue on, find the little cracks and crevices in life and flow toward our goals.
We may not take the path we originally envisioned, but as long as we keep moving forward in a positive direction, does it really matter how we get there?
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
The Leader as a Servant
“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” – Max Depree
I’d like to talk about leadership in a way we perhaps don’t always think of it. In order to lead, we must know how to follow.
Those born for a leadership role do not just seize the reigns of power and gallop on without an understanding of those they are leading. It doesn’t really work well that way.
As is said in the Tao Te Ching, “The river carves out the valley by flowing beneath it. Thereby the river is the master of the valley.”
This and many other examples are used in Taoist philosophy to demonstrate the power of the low. This power is the power of the servant of the people, the person who follows in order to lead. This is a powerful notion, and has real world application.
How can we lead people without being their servant? Is that not what a leader is? A facilitator, a communicator, a voice for a group of people – these are examples of services we provide for our team when we lead them. We act as the focal point for problems and we serve as enablers for our team members. We move obstacles so that they may do their work and shine for the entire group.
If we recognise our roles as a servants and followers of our teams and strive to make it clear to them that we exist in a leadership capacity only to make things easier for them, chances are that they will never feel threatened by that leadership. There will be no sense of competition or oppression.
In this style of leadership you may not come to the finish line in front, gleaming with pride to take all of the glory, but your team will definitely make it there together and you’ll have more respect than if you had seized the reigns.
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
The main thing is…
“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
- Stephen Covey
You may know one of those people who have forged something from nothing, or you may be one of these people. Seeking their goals with a determination which is quite amazing. This could be someone in business, in sport or in any other sort of pursuit. The point is that these people seem quite amazing at first glance and our first reaction can be admiration or envy.
Let’s take a second glance. Often these people are amazing at single-mindedly pursuing one goal. This could be profit in the case of a businessperson, sometimes started because of childhood experiences or a desire to change things for their family. This could be awards, recognition, fame or other such things for a musician or an actor. It could be the next record for an athlete. The challenge with this is not the pursuit of these things. It is the imbalance the pursuit often causes.
Sometimes people often lose sight of the importance of other aspects in their lives and become so consumed with their end goal that they often damage or lose the reasons they had for starting in the first place. Forsaking family, friends, relationships. When it is all said and done, what is left when they’ve attained their goals?
The important thing is to know where your heart is, and pursue that goal in a way that is aligned with who you are and what is important to you. Never lose sight of your true reasons and don’t sell your soul regardless of the glittering prizes you may see in the distance. Your future isn’t all about wealth or fame.
It is about the sense of fulfilment you get when you practice your craft or when you’ve provided a suitable environment for your family.
It is about enjoying each moment instead of obsessing over what more you could gain.
It is about knowing when to pause and enjoy your “rich moments” rather than pursuing some future bliss, which may never come.
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
What is it about change?
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
What is it about change that sometimes terrifies or thrills us? Is change something we should seek out or shy from, and is it a necessary part of life?
Change can terrify us when we become over attached to the idea of our current existence. We like things the way they are, so why change them? Change can also thrill us if we’re fed up with the current state of things and long for something different, new and exciting. The truth is that change just is. What change brings to us isn’t so much a reflection of its nature, but a reflection of ours.
If you’re afraid of change it is often wise to question that fear:
- Is it possible that you’re stuck in a rut and that change may refresh you, teach you new things and open up possibilities you never expected?
In the same spirit, you could attempt to address your yearning for change:
- Why are you so uncomfortable with things as they are?
- Is something deeper bothering you?
- Couldn’t your current situation teach you anything worth abiding if you’d only give it a chance?
The most important thing in dealing with change isn’t to fight our own natures or the nature of change itself. If you’re given an opportunity or see one to be taken and it speaks to that voice inside of you, then go for it. If you’re fighting too hard for a change which won’t come through for you, chances are that that in itself is something to notice.
In all things, stay true to yourself, who you are becoming and flow with change, don’t fight it.
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting April 1, 2010 - more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
Being Grateful and Present
Two men look out between the same bars: one sees mud, one sees stars.
-Frederick Langbridge
We’ve all heard the popular words of Robert Eliot – “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” It would be silly to argue these words, as they ring true to most ears. Worrying about the small things will usually get you nowhere, but what about appreciating the small things?
What are some things we take for granted everyday which could benefit our lives a little more if we appreciated them more?
The key to appreciating these moments is to concentrate on them, rather than letting your mind wander onto other matters. When eating a good meal, truly savour the tastes and the company instead of worrying about the dishes to wash up after you’re done. When phoned by a friend, wonder at the conversation and the marvels which allow you to connect with that friend from a distance, instead of worrying about which bills you haven’t yet paid or how many free minutes you’ve got left on your mobile contract. If you have to walk somewhere, enjoy the colour of the sky, the song of the birds – all of the sights and sounds of the natural world or even those native to a city.
Even seemingly menial tasks can be enjoyed in this way. When washing up after a meal, enjoy the work itself. Concentrate on getting each dish sparklingly clean and on the warm soapy water instead of thinking ahead to what you’d rather be doing. You’ll probably find the whole experience much more enjoyable this way.
The key is to concentrate on the here and now and enjoy this moment, rather than focusing on what has been or what is to come. Each of these small things joins together in the chain which becomes your life, so don’t sweat the negative ones and focus on the positive ones.
Don’t mortgage your present on some future perfect
“Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
When thinking to the future today, it is often tempting to imagine a utopian environment for yourself. Everything will be perfect tomorrow, or the day after, or 10 years from now, won’t it?
It can also be easy to get bogged down by worries and hidden obstacles along your path. You get caught up in the “what if” scenario, which is never a nice place to be. The truth is that we can never know what the future holds, so why box yourself in one possibility or another?
The past is gone, and we can never change it. All we have for certain in this world is the tiny, fleeting, gift of a moment which we call the present. While it is always important to look to the future, the present is where the hard work, dedication and staging area is for all of our future accomplishments.
If you let yourself get carried away with making plans that you’ll never carry out or by complicating your path with needless worry, you’ll taint the most important moment – this one. After all, if you let the present slip away, it will be lost to the past – and we know we can’t change that, don’t we?
Don’t give yourself a reason to regret this moment tomorrow. My advice to you today is to seize this moment, be bold, and do positive work for yourself now.
The future will stretch out before you, a wide and expansive path, continuing over your horizon.
Step Up or Worn Down?
It is easy to succumb to stress in today’s economic climate.
Downturns can be a trying time, but the emotional tax is often not necessary. The problem with worry is that it accomplishes nothing. The key to tackling your worries is to look at the situation objectively and calmly.
Ask yourself some serious questions:
1. What am I accomplishing by worrying?
2. Can I change anything about this situation?
If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll often surprise yourself. For question 1, the answer will usually be “Nothing.” For question 2, you’ll either come up with a yes or a no. If your answer is yes and you can change your situation, then why are you worrying about it? Shouldn’t you be out there doing something rather than fretting about it? Wouldn’t affecting positive change in your life do more for you than sitting around? If your answer is no, then why worry? You can’t accomplish anything by worrying about that which you cannot influence.
History teaches us that success during recession is not impossible. The saying goes “fortune favours the bold”, and in the case of economic recession, this is especially true.
The individuals and companies who took advantage of the Great Depression did so by making bold decisions, by diversifying their interests and by being creative. They didn’t accomplish these things by worrying.
Will you Step up?
We Create Our Own Luck!
Ever meet people who say that success has everything to do with random luck and not much more?
I know I’ve come across lots of people who believe that luck is the essential ingredient to success, but the truth of the matter is, it’s not!
People who say success boils down to luck typically are people who are jealous of those who achieve success. They have this idea that luck randomly occurs willy nilly! But that’s not the case at all!
You see, luck is far from a random thing! We create it ourselves when we make the choice to choose success! Remember my interview with my friend Lorne Cousin and Madonna
Success is a choice!
Successful people are successful because they choose success!
They choose to be successful.
They outwardly reject anything that isn’t success, and don’t rest until success is firmly within their grasp.
When people make a choice to pursue success and persist until it is theirs, they attract into their lives situations and circumstances that will help them make that success happen.
And yes, some may call that luck.
But at the end of the day, it’s simply what happens when you decide to choose success for yourself.
The ‘luck’ doesn’t come automatically.
It comes when one consciously chooses to focus on success!
Success truly is a state of mind. Many successful people will tell you that their journey to success began when they formulated a vision and a goal in their mind.
Initially they have the idea of what they want, and then they really begin to visualize what it would be like for that idea to become a reality.
They create in their minds pictures of that success happening in their lives, and they get excited about it!
They take the time each day to think of the attainment of that goal…and they feel good about it!
This keeps them passionate about the attainment of that goal!
And in entertaining these thoughts of success attainment, those favourable scenarios, opportunities, etc, come about.
It’s when luck or magic happens!
But as you can see, it doesn’t happen randomly! The ‘luck’ happens when we choose success.
Put it to the test for yourself today!
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting spring 2010 more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
You just have to want it Bad Enough and then Take Action!
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. ~George Bernard Shaw
Now, let’s face it! You’re going to have a very hard time finding anybody in the world who will say, “You know what. I don’t want success!”
At the end of the day, everybody wants success. And it can be success in any area of your life – it’s not necessarily the desire to have loads of money or material possessions.
Success can be something like being happy with your job and having a happy, loving family.
As simple as success may be to define, the truth of the matter is, many people don’t consider themselves successful.
Many people don’t think they’re really living the life they truly want.
So why is it that these people aren’t living the life they want? Why is it that most people aren’t successful?
It’s simple!
They just don’t want it bad enough or they settle for what they think they can have!
Too many people are quick to whinge. They’re quick to complain.
They’re quick to get down on themselves and get down with the people they’re talking to. They’ll blame absolutely everything for their lack of success.
But the thing is, they do nothing to achieve the success they want!
And it’s because they just don’t want it bad enough at the end of the day!
One very wise many by the name of Brian Buchner once said, “The key to success is to just want it bad enough. If you want it bad enough, you’ll figure out a way to get it. All other factors are irrelevant. Upbringing, IQ, genetics, environment and possessions – all don’t matter. It comes down to drive. If you have the fire, then you’ll get what you want, guaranteed.”
Now isn’t that something to chew over?
It’s pretty easy to really want something isn’t it?
But you have to want it enough, to be able to make the success happen.
If you want something – and I mean, really, really want it – then the circumstances, the situations and opportunities conducive to you having it, will come to you!
If we focus on the thing we really, really want, then we won’t be able to help but notice all of those great opportunities that come our way, to help us achieve the materialization of our goals.
It’s like when we meet somebody with a certain car we really like. After we meet that person and see their car, it seems as though every second person on the road is driving one of those cars!
It’s because we focus on it! We see things conducive to it!
If we want something bad enough, things will just happen in our lives to help us achieve it!
The key is to want the success enough, to notice the opportunities that arise and act on them!
Start really wanting the success today and I guarantee you’ll start to see results!
P.S. I will be taking on 4 new clients for a one year intensive coaching programme starting spring 2010 more details to follow. Please email me: Donald@zonedinperformance.com
